Talk Nerdy to Me

I drew these babies for the Teen Vogue Fashion U contest. I dug them up while (failing at) organizing my computer desktop. They’re the less congenial triplet (twin?) sisters of that other drawing I sent. Yay!

I like this dress and if it existed in real life I would totally buy it. Mainly because I designed it to look like a garden party. You know, the green dress = grassy foliage etc. and the ribbons = party streamers blowing in the wind!

I also like this dress but I wouldn’t buy it because it looks like a cheap Betsey Johnson knockoff made in Hong Kong (by child slaves no less!?!?!?). haha jk. It was also party themed :) When I was drawing the skirt I was thinking of papel picado, with sharp angular cutouts and bright colors…but then some frothy tulle stuff bloomed underneath the skirt and then pom poms suddenly sprouted along the hem and…maybe if you beat the dress with a stick candy will come flying out!?

So I found out early in October that I had won a ticket to Fashion U. “WON” being a fancy way of saying “in addition to finding your own airplane ticket and hotel we’d like you to hand over a $250 attendance fee THEN WE’LL TALK”. WELL FUDGE YOU Teen Vogue for practically almost swindling a starving student out of the money that she set aside for FOOD, DOCTORS VISITS, AND SHOES. and nail polish. boooooohoooo. Needless to say, I didn’t attend. Also needless to say, I really wanted to. At least sending them my ugly but nonetheless weirdly affectionate drawings and photographs didn’t cost me any monies.

I was idling around in the size 7.5 shoe department in Nordstrom rack when a little girl with bright blue, green, and pink ribbons woven into her corn rows skipped passed me with her mom and older brother.

“MOMMY MOMMY!!!” she said, doing a little twisty dance to look back at me. “THERE IS…A TEENAGER! AND SHE HAS A PRETTY FLOWER IN HER HAIR! THISSSSSS *wiggly arm motion* BIIIIGGG!!!!”

WOW. A five year old just acknowledged me as a teenager!

+5 for my self esteem!

I’ve been having so many bad dreams lately :(

I hate how the stresses of the waking world incorporate themselves so seamlessly into my imagination as I drift off to sleep. Last night I dreamed about my first day of school. I was biking to my dorm when suddenly the sky darkened and the bike path became pitch dark (naturally, I remembered to pack Pop Tarts, a special drying rack just for my underwear, and a shower squeegee - but no bike light).

I peddled about for a long time, lost and scared, until I happened upon some bright lights inside the forest. A bunch of people sat around a fire eating smores. I saw some of my friends and said “hey! how do I get home? I’m so lost!”. They told me to go away since not everything in the world was about me and that I should figure it out myself. They then proceeded to explain to me how they removed my name from our housing contract and that I WAS NO LONGER THEIR ROOMMATE. I HAD NO PLACE TO STAY!!!

And then everyone in the crowd made a huge circle around me and started taunting me, so I curled up into a little ball and rocked around on the ground sobbing.

My dreams should be squishy and cheerful, not so awful that they make me wake up crying for no reason in the middle of the night!

Maybe my dreams would get better if I had a little worry doll to keep me company.

Worry dolls are tiny little friends made of thread and wire that like to travel around in your pocket, eating crumbs and occasionally poking their heads out to say hello to the big scary world.

At night, they crawl under your pillow and wait for you to whisper your worries to them. They gather all of the worries in their spindly arms and then carry them away so that you can have pleasant dreams. While you sleep soundly, the worry doll will worry in your place!

I saw a necklace at Anthropologie that had tiny worry dolls strung between candy pink beads. I think that the dollies would much prefer being free to sit in your pocket than to dangle from your neck.

Free trade worry dolls made with love can be found on amazon.com!

I drew this for a contest that I entered a few weeks ago because I had no short term goals and I needed a deadline to beat so that I could feel fulfilled! :)

According to my interpretation of the contest’s creative-submission-type section, I drew three different lovely plastic mannequins wearing ensembles that I put together and then affectionately named piece by piece. 

That’s right, people…she has tiny white cats on her feet! I liked to call them White Prettykitty Pumps. Her nautical striped sweater is crafted from the softest cotton-cashmere blend and features a flattering sweetheart neckline, delicate tulle insets on the sleeves, and a sweet cabbage rose design on the back. Her ruffled pencil skirt is the ripe red color of a blood orange and offers a snug yet comfortable fit thanks to the exposed zipper and arched skirt slit at the rear. She is also sporting a shimmery sequined READY-TO-BLAST OFF rocketship tote and polarized white Sweetheart Sunnies.

Full, sculpted hot roller curls, juicy raspberry pink lipstick, and “greige” nail polish complete the look.

These items and others from Emma’s WHITE CAT label can be found in EVERYTHING BUT THE GIRL boutiques nation wide…

Mom: Hey Emma’s Brother, want to come with us to the Cyndi Lauper Concert tonight?

Emma’s Brother: I dunno who she is. What does she sound like?

Mom: Well, think about Queen, except with an actual girl.

     As it turns out Mom, you were wrong about her sound last night. Actually, we all were, but then again that’s what we get for not paying attention to the name of her 2010 tour: Memphis Blues.

     What?! Blues? I’ve never consciously listened to a blues song in my life!

     And here my inner eight-year-old was expecting something more along the lines of her True Colors tour! For a week straight I pranced and frolicked around my room to the beat of my THE BEST OF CYNDI LAUPER CD! Those sweet, synth-heavy pop songs became the sound track of my life! (I mean, they always were, but you know…) I memorized the lyrics to “Money Changes Everything”, “I Drove All Night”, and “The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough”. I decided that, at my wedding to my rich and famous supermodel boyfriend, I would like to dance our first dance to “True Colors” and not because he’s still in the closet.

     I even learned what “Sher Bop” is really about! Without traumatizing my eight-year-old self! 

     So, with red lipstick on my mouth and Cyndi’s lyrics in my head, I set out to enjoy the concert and be one of her best fans ever…

     And then I failed! I didn’t recognize ANY of the song’s Cyndi’s distinct raspy, quavering voice was belting out. Instead of participating like I had hoped by screeching the words to familiar songs along with her, I was forced to sit back in my cold plastic chair and enjoy the ride. 

     And enjoy it I did! :) Cyndi had a full blues band along with her, complete with two keyboardists and an awesome dude playing the electric harmonica (or so it seemed…). When Cyndi sang I felt like I was completely engulfed in the song despite the bittersweetness of the meaning behind the lyrics. Even though none of the songs were hers, her smokey/sweet/raspy voice suited them perfectly. She made me FEEL something, as though I were slowly becoming a part of this giant robot being of oneness with..the..world..something…

     There are only a few artists who are capable of drawing me in so completely like that, one of whom is Florence Welch from Florence and the Machine. Listening to her record is like listening to Cyndi Lauper singing the blues live, except times fifty. I simply can’t listen to her songs and multitask properly because I’m too busy becoming one with her voice.  Or something like that. I don’t know how exactly to put it into words, but that’s basically how I feel when I listen to her!

     An example of a band with a contrasting effect on me is Franz Ferdinand. I guess one might be surprised to hear that, given that the New Scottish Gentry comprise one of my favorite bands in the entire Milky Way Galaxy. Their songs actually leave me feeling a little cold, for the most part. I guess it’s because, for me, they represent more of a fleeting mood than an intense and passionate emotion.

     So anywayyy the concert was fantastically amazing and amazingly fantastic. Cyndi had the MOST CRAZY HAIR EVER (but not really, since her illegitimate child with Freddie Mercury and a plastic department store mannequin, Lady Gaga, could top it in her sleep). From my seat it almost looked like she had horns coming out of her head, except not really. I wonder if it was a wig…if not, I want to learn how to do that to my hair.

     Just kidding! :)

     Cyndi was also very conversational with us that night! She told us stories from her childhood and went on crazy tangents. I actually didn’t really care what she was saying as long as she kept talking in her crazy New York accent.

     Words of wisdom straight from Cyndi’s mouth!:

“Don’t confuse the art with the artist, cuz the artist might sideswipe you one day and you won’t like it”.

     Or something like that. I was sort of lying when I told Olivia I was sitting so close to the stage that I could count the individual strands on Cyndi’s fake lashes/hear her step away from the mic to breathe. But I was still close!

:) :) :)

P.S. Singing “True Colors” with the rest of the audience along with Cyndi at the end made me shed real tears. That song always gets to me.